Sunday, July 10, 2005
Is this unreasonable?
Yesterday I went to a wedding reception where the bloke's ex was one of the best ladies. Now bloke wasn't with us as bloke was doing something else that evening. It was a fine wedding reception and I had a jolly good time I hasten to add, however there was some cause for concern that interfered with my sleep last night. Now for clarity we have just had a bit of a discussion recently - I was concerned about a few things - raised them and his responses indicated that yes, he had been pondering about the ex rather a lot recently because of stuff and why they had split up, not in a "I wish I was with her" way but a "why did it go wrong" way (apparently) so I took this on the chin, pointed out that he probably should have been a bit more honest about why we were having a distant patch, and communication was to be improved. However there had been little indication of external discussions so I figured it was not very catastrophic.
The lovely C (the ex) was discussing livejournal with another of our friends who is about to be back online after a move to the depths of Wales. She was encouraging him to sign up - he in his drunken state was a bit "well I'll need to know the addresses of people" etc. So we had the well... go to livejournal.com and create an account then most of your mates have dead obvious lj names and if you get one just look on the friends list, you will find all others pretty rapidly. Then the lovely C said "but I'm not on M's list anymore, do you know why?" looking at me and blokes best mate. G, best mate, was remarkably uncomfortable then clearly had a sod it moment and it became apparent that bloke had had long, and to G slightly bizarre (and being good friends with C not very comfortable, and knowing me not very comfortable) converstions recently - that we all he said, no more detail given as G is discrete and sensible. Recently C has started seeing someone new and mentioned this on her livejournal (I don't know her so don't read it so was unaware of this) and it was shortly after this that the removal of mates was made so she reasonably assumed there was probably a link. As bloke left her (and she was devatated at the time) and the break up was 2 years ago it seems a bit off that he's still being like this to me.
I wonder how bloke would feel if the boot was on the other foot - if I was still mulling over a previous relationship. I am beginning to wonder if I am a bit of a mug - he is so earthshatteringly thoughtless of others feelings yet so concerned that people aren't hurt in the general run of things. He claims I am not the rebound relationship, but I really do wonder. Do I see if this time it all settles down and if it ever flares up again take the view self preseravation is bail and take the pain now, not in years to come or should I just conclude that he's too messed up to every get his head in order, see things from someone elses perspective and bail. or do I just point out that if he is chewing stuff over with G that is rather tricky when he does get to the point of telling me about it can he mention he's chewed it over with G so I don't get the massive feeling of exclusion that I had last night, because inevitably things do come out like this?
Intimate Relationships - they are really are the least satisfactory part of life sometimes
The lovely C (the ex) was discussing livejournal with another of our friends who is about to be back online after a move to the depths of Wales. She was encouraging him to sign up - he in his drunken state was a bit "well I'll need to know the addresses of people" etc. So we had the well... go to livejournal.com and create an account then most of your mates have dead obvious lj names and if you get one just look on the friends list, you will find all others pretty rapidly. Then the lovely C said "but I'm not on M's list anymore, do you know why?" looking at me and blokes best mate. G, best mate, was remarkably uncomfortable then clearly had a sod it moment and it became apparent that bloke had had long, and to G slightly bizarre (and being good friends with C not very comfortable, and knowing me not very comfortable) converstions recently - that we all he said, no more detail given as G is discrete and sensible. Recently C has started seeing someone new and mentioned this on her livejournal (I don't know her so don't read it so was unaware of this) and it was shortly after this that the removal of mates was made so she reasonably assumed there was probably a link. As bloke left her (and she was devatated at the time) and the break up was 2 years ago it seems a bit off that he's still being like this to me.
I wonder how bloke would feel if the boot was on the other foot - if I was still mulling over a previous relationship. I am beginning to wonder if I am a bit of a mug - he is so earthshatteringly thoughtless of others feelings yet so concerned that people aren't hurt in the general run of things. He claims I am not the rebound relationship, but I really do wonder. Do I see if this time it all settles down and if it ever flares up again take the view self preseravation is bail and take the pain now, not in years to come or should I just conclude that he's too messed up to every get his head in order, see things from someone elses perspective and bail. or do I just point out that if he is chewing stuff over with G that is rather tricky when he does get to the point of telling me about it can he mention he's chewed it over with G so I don't get the massive feeling of exclusion that I had last night, because inevitably things do come out like this?
Intimate Relationships - they are really are the least satisfactory part of life sometimes
// posted by Bitvacuous @ 1:24 pm 
